by susantara | Nov 13, 2018 | Engaging the Magic, Spiritual Journey |
I’m sure you’ve experienced it: The 3 A.M. wake-up. All shields are down. You are like a turtle without a shell, vulnerable to the thoughts and feelings that seem so urgent in the darkest hours when everyone else is asleep. Thoughts that keep running in circles inside your head like a cat, high on catnip, chasing its tail. You want to go back to sleep, but the thoughts won’t stop.
I woke up recently in the middle of the night gripped by fear. To be honest, fear is a visitor that has not shown up much recently, and I’ve appreciated its absence. But there it was again, strong as ever.
In my daily meditation, I practice noticing and naming emotions that arise. So when I woke up overcome by fear, I noted, “Ah, fear. This is what fear feels like.” It’s like when you pick up the phone and recognize the voice of a familiar acquaintance at the other end.
This fear was financial in nature and whisked me into poverty consciousness before I even knew what hit me. It fell into the “Forbidden Forest” category of thoughts that don’t lead anywhere productive. Although I work diligently to retrain my brain away from those kinds of thoughts, it caught me off-guard in the middle of the night when my defenses were asleep.
The way I saw it, I had four options:
- Think
- Meditate
- Focus on where the fear is manifesting in my body
- Ask for help.
I’m a big fan of developing inner resources. However, I was really tired at the time. So I chose the fourth option.
Calling All Angels
Recently, I’ve sensed an angelic presence in my life and believe there is a great deal of help available to us. We just have to remember to ask for it. At the risk of sounding totally woo-woo, I believe there are legions of unemployed angels just waiting to be asked. They love us and want to help but cannot interfere with our free will and therefore need to be asked. Even so, they won’t work against our highest good, which we might not be aware of in a given situation.
So I asked the angels for help. I disengaged from fear and became still. From that stillness, a warm light arose and engulfed the darkness of my fear. It carried the realization that insight and intuition flow to me in abundance and are great sources of prosperity in my life. The flow of this kind of wisdom provides the answers I need. I just need to trust in it, open to it, and not block it with fear!
That thought was like a soft blanket of peace. It was as if an angel jumped right into my heart and shined a spotlight on what I needed to know and where I needed to put my attention.
I learned that if it’s hard to feel good about money, focus instead on a form of prosperity that is easier to buy into. The closest approximation that brings you a feeling of hope and abundance.
Inside the Tank
Something similar happened during my most recent float therapy session. There are no distractions in the silent darkness of the float tank. It’s just you and your mind. Usually, my float sessions consist of 90 minutes of very deep relaxation and meditation. Thoughts tend to lose their hold when I float because there’s nothing to reinforce them. When I’m that relaxed and undistracted, they dissolve like soap bubbles that pop within seconds of becoming.
However, a compelling thought managed to take root this time. It was about how my mom must have felt when she knew she was dying of pancreatic cancer. How hard it must have been for her to let go of absolutely everything that was important to her in this world. And everyone she loved. I also really missed her as I floated in the darkness.
This time, it wasn’t fear. It was the pain of separation that seized me. Feeling apart from. It was a very uncomfortable feeling. However, I stayed with it, knowing it wouldn’t last. I felt both the pain of separation from my mom and the emotional pain she presumably experienced during the weeks and days before she transitioned out of this world.
Then I experienced an inner sensation of light and warmth, just like when I was gripped by fear during the night. Two memories emerged from that light.
One was a synchronicity that took place after a Reiki training, when I wanted to know which archangel(s) I have a strong connection with. I sensed green light and the presence of Raphael but wondered if I was just making it up. The next day while working at the library, a patron approached me because he had an appointment with a co-worker. He announced in a strong, clear voice, “I am Raphael.” As if that weren’t enough, on my break I got takeout from the natural foods café, and the bill was $4.44. The cashier exclaimed, “That’s a good number! It means angels are with you!”
The second memory was from the earliest weeks following my mom’s death. Lying in my bed at night, I felt myself enveloped by an indescribable sensation of love and golden light that pushed happiness into me. It started at my feet and worked its way up to my head until I was embraced by it completely and immersed in it from head to toe. It seemed to be associated with my mom. Perhaps it was a non-physical hug or a glimpse of what it feels like on the other side? I sensed she is with us and able to tune in to our thoughts. But that wasn’t all. Another family member who is much more skeptical than I experienced the same thing in their bed.
Those two memories engulfed and dispelled the sense of separation that seized me in the float tank. They were much greater than the pain of separation. In the silent darkness of the float tank, I felt deeply connected to and part of the universal life energy that my mom is also part of. For the remainder of the session, I floated in peace and joy.
Valuable Insights
The morning after fear paid me a nighttime visit, I got up and meditated first thing. During meditation, I understood that help is available when I need it. Answers about the future are not available now because it’s not their time yet. We cannot foresee what choices, possibilities, information, understanding, and assistance will be available to us in the future.
Instead of getting stuck in fear, we can trust that the best path will be revealed to us with every step we take, if we tune in to our inner guidance system. We can trust that we will learn, grow, and expand more between now and then and make choices that have not shown up yet on our radar. We don’t have all the necessary information at this time to pass judgment on how the future will be. In our journey toward the future, we will receive more useful guidance from a state of inner peace and trust than fear or anxiety. Fear blocks the good stuff.
Then I got zapped with an inspiration. Something I couldn’t believe hadn’t occurred to me before. All of a sudden, I envisioned my home in a completely different way that included space for something my heart yearns to do more of. This opened up a new world of possibility and was specific evidence of the insight I had moments earlier.
Basically, my fear dissolved when I understood that insight and inspiration create new possibilities that haven’t come into view yet. I realized my job is to trust that I will be led to the best paths by following intuition, making time for stillness, and acting on the wisdom that arises. One step at a time.
Such a better alternative to thinking too much, trying so hard, and doing too much work that doesn’t produce desired results. It doesn’t have to be such a hard and fearful journey when there is so much help and light available!
© 2018 Susan Meyer. All rights reserved. To use any or all of this article, include this exactly: Susan Meyer (SusanTaraMeyer.com) is a photographer, writer, clutter coach, Reiki practitioner, feng shui consultant, and mindfulness teacher whose work is infused with a deep interest in the nature of mind and appreciation of the natural world. She lives on the Hudson River in Upstate New York.
by susantara | Jan 9, 2016 | Self-Care Practices |
Barely a week and a half into the New Year, I’m feeling a sense of hopeful momentum supported by unprecedented planning, organization, and support. This year, I’m taking life up a notch. I want to play with possibility and see what kind of magic I can tap into that I’ve been shutting out until now. I intend to break the mold, and it’s exciting.
Part of being intentional about planning for the new year is reflecting on the previous year. I’ve been taking inventory of what did and didn’t work, lessons I’ve learned, how I was transformed, what I discovered about myself, etc. At the top of my list of 2015 successes is what I call my “tea meditation,” and I want to share it with you.
The tea meditation is inspired by Michelle Martin Dobbins’ Daily Alchemy blog post on Making “Love Tea” and a breath practice that my spiritual director recommended when I went on retreat in the fall. It’s really simple and is a meditation that I actually look forward to every day because it feels amazing and is a remedy for when you experience a sense of emptiness or lack or if you simply want to cultivate a certain inner quality or energy.
What is it that you long for? That you feel you lack and might try to acquire in unhealthy or unproductive (and perhaps unconscious) ways? In this mediation, you will focus on that – on really feeling it and then (literally) drinking it in. I focused on love/nurturing, and as a result of doing this meditation regularly for three months, the grief and emptiness I felt stuck in last year has transformed into a sense of wholeness and completeness – a feeling of being tapped into an eternal Source of Love from which I can radiate and source love for others. In other words, I have gone from seeking love to being love and am so grateful for this miraculous shift! Now I am focusing more on abundance (which is my sacred word for the year). But if I feel shaky about love and experience myself seeking or longing for it, I’ll return to it.
You can perform this meditation with tea, water, juice, or any beverage that feels truly nourishing to you. I like to use tea because when the tea bag is steeping in the hot water, it helps me to imagine that the quality or feeling I want to develop is infusing the water.
You might want to dedicate a special mug for this ritual. I chose one that felt right to me, and then my daughter gifted me a mug that she decorated by hand and which therefore means a lot to me, so now I have two. (If you’re looking for a special mug, check out what my talented cousin, Chris, has to offer! )
Here’s how you do it: While the tea is steeping, hold the mug in your hands, and imagine that whatever you long for most and feel is lacking in your life is being put into it. (Since I focus on abundance, I’ll use that as an example.) See the word itself going into the water, and concentrate on generating a feeling of (abundance). This might involve visualizing yourself manifesting a certain goal, recalling a memory in which you felt a sense of abundance, or imagining how someone who embodies abundance might feel. Put all that good stuff in your cup! Become attuned to the frequency of abundance while the tea is steeping, for at least five minutes. Focus as completely as possible. Really feel it. (It feels quite amazing!)
When your beverage has cooled down or you feel ready, start sipping it, and imagine that the vibration of abundance (for example) is going into you and becoming part of you. Feel the warm liquid entering you and spreading through your body. Allow what you seek to fill you!
When I experience the vibration of abundance during this meditation, I often have insights about what attitudes, thoughts, feelings, and behaviors support or restrict the flow of abundance in my life. Sometimes it simply feels wonderful and empowering and raises my vibration. When I’m in that state, whatever is not in harmony with that vibration falls away. It doesn’t resonate. And sometimes I receive encouraging signs.
For example, one morning I was feeling very much attuned to the vibrational frequency of abundance and was really feeling it. Then, in the middle of the meditation, I heard a cha-ching! notification from my Etsy shop that I made a sale! When I heard the sound, I glanced at my phone and saw that it was 11:11 – a time that holds special meaning for me! It felt quite magical and validated that I’m on the right vibrational frequency to attract abundance.
In a recent blog post, I shared instructions for making “spirit lanterns” to illuminate aspirations and intentions for the upcoming year. If you made one, your tea meditation could focus on one of the words on your lantern – whichever one feels most relevant and essential to cultivate at this time. Focus on that word for a month, and see if anything shifts or changes. Focus in depth on the quality you feel you’re lacking. Totally focus on it. Experience it. In other words (borrowing from my previous post): Feel transformed. When you do, you’ll find that you’re not lacking anymore!
I truly look forward to sitting on my cushion and doing my tea meditation. It feels so good to get in the vibrational state of actually feeling and radiating the quality that I want to attract or cultivate – to feel that I already have it. To really drink it in and feel whole, complete…and transformed.
© 2016 Susan Meyer. All rights reserved. To use any or all of this blog post, include this exactly: Susan Meyer (SusanTaraMeyer.com) is a photographer, writer, clutter coach, feng shui consultant, and mindfulness mentor whose work is infused with a deep interest in the nature of mind and appreciation of the natural world. She lives on the Hudson River in Upstate New York.
by susantara | Jan 2, 2016 | Creativity, Spiritual Journey |
Happy New Year, everyone!
I’ve been busy planning and setting intentions for 2016 and am stoked to discover a wealth of resources for manifesting goals! I feel like I’ve tapped into a mother load of resources, which brings to mind the adage, “When the student is ready, the teacher appears.” Teachers and active support networks of women coming together virtually to inspire and encourage one another!
For the past few weeks, I’ve been working with a tremendously creative and inspiring tool: Leonie Dawson’s 2016 Create Your Shining Year in Life workbook.
This workbook is so full of goodness that it would be impossible to describe it with only a few headlines or examples! It begins with wrapping up and reflecting on the previous year and includes a page to list everything you’re grateful for from 2015, which is a great exercise because gratitude is key for moving forward! The rest of the workbook focuses on creating a shining new year in all areas of life by setting inspired goals and listing resources you have to support you along the way. (My favorite page is the self-created list of “Things to Do When Everything Sucks!”) There are pages for affirmations, mottos, and plenty of space for creating a dream board. I’m having so much fun (with my colored Sharpies) brainstorming and imagining, setting intentions and goals, breaking goals into actionable steps, and writing the steps in my day planner. It’s something I can look back at throughout the year to help me stay on track. I’ve never done anything like this before and think it will be a catalyst for serious growth.
I anticipate that various pages in this workbook will inspire blog material throughout the year, but for now I want to start with something simple: choosing a “sacred word for the year”.
When I was teaching, I’d create an elaborate binder for each school year to keep me focused on what was most important and in alignment with my core values and aspirations. The cover of the binder featured a picture embellished with my word for the year. The word served as a compass to help me navigate the year. Since the binder also housed my weekly lesson plans for the whole year, I saw the cover every day and was reminded constantly of the intention I set for the year. It was a powerful tool!
So choosing a “sacred word for the year” was not something new. Before choosing my word for 2016, I made a list of words to consider. I kept the list in my phone and added to it whenever something new came to mind. I finally decided on abundance. Yes, I think it’s high time to expand my horizon and focus on that word!
Truth is, I never made money a priority in my life and was never intentional about it. Money was not something I considered when it came to choosing either a college major or a spouse. It simply didn’t show up on my radar. I lived simply and with some creativity learned how to live on very little. But since resigning from my teaching job, I’ve been doing some conscious work on my attitudes and beliefs about money because I think I’ve been selling myself short and cutting myself off from the flow. Lately, I’ve been stretching myself to use my brain in ways that are entirely new to me and realize that developing a healthy “money mindset” is critical. It seems clear that all my life, the attitudes I’ve held toward money have obstructed the flow of prosperity in my life. Now I am curious about this energy and feel inspired to experiment with it and see what I can do with a friendlier attitude toward it. So I’m working first and foremost on raising my “money vibration,” which goes hand in hand with pursuing professional opportunities.
But abundance isn’t only about money. It applies to all areas of life, and gratitude seems to be a fundamental part of it – which is why it felt so worthwhile to make a list of everything I was grateful for in 2015. This year, I intend to be conscious about how I am either allowing or cutting myself off from the flow of abundance in my life. To keep my sacred word front and center, I am printing the photograph below and mounting a small print on both the refrigerator and the inside cover of my daily planner and a larger, framed print on the wall of my work space.
To supercharge my word for the year, I identified what habits and actions will draw more of the quality of abundance into my life. I also created a unique lantern for my meditation space with my sacred word and several other words to (literally) illuminate my aspirations and intentions for the upcoming year. This includes qualities that I anticipate will be useful to have in my toolbox for the year, to support what I want to accomplish. Words to uplift and inspire me when things don’t go the way I want them to. Reminders to help me stay on track.
Here is another view of my multi-colored lantern:
And here is a Spirit Lantern I made several years ago that ended up being a powerful manifestation tool back when I was pursuing a teaching job in a competitive job market:
I’ve received numerous requests to share instructions for making Spirit Lanterns, so here goes!
Materials:
- smooth glass jar or straight vase (I like to repurpose 16-oz. salsa jars)
- sheet of handmade/natural/mulberry paper from an art or paper store (either a large sheet or a few 8 1/2″ x 11″ sheets)
- Mod Podge (either matte or glossy)
- paintbrush or foam brush
- inkjet or laser printer
- a few sheets of regular copy paper
- tape or glue stick
- glitter (optional)
- silver and/or gold Sharpie pen (optional)
- sparkly star stickers (optional)
- charms
- thread
- hot glue gun and a few glue sticks
- ribbon, raffia, or twine
Instructions:
Step One: Brainstorm, Layout, and Print Your Words
- Brainstorm and select the words you want to include on your lantern. For best results, limit your list to no more than 12 words.
- In a word processing program, type out your list of words, leaving space between each word. (Eventually, you will rip out each word by hand, so you’ll want to leave enough space to do so.) Use whatever font(s) please you. At times, I’ve used a variety of fonts for one lantern. Other times, I’ve only used one font (and think I like this effect best). I prefer to use a calligraphy or script font, such as Caflisch Script (a free download).
- Test print your words on a sheet of regular copy paper to make sure the words are the right size.
- Print your words on a sheet of mulberry or handmade paper. I recommend cutting this paper a little smaller than a regular sheet of 8 1/2″ x 11″ copy paper and then either taping or using a glue stick around the edges to adhere the mulberry paper to the regular copy paper so the delicate paper won’t get eaten by your printer. In the past, I’ve been able to print directly on the mulberry paper, but the printer I have now is too rough for such delicate paper. Use the “best” print quality setting.
- After printing onto the mulberry paper, detach it from the copy paper.
- Tear each word out by hand, leaving as little paper around the words as possible without tearing into the word. If there are difficult to tear fibers, use scissors to cut through them, and then continue tearing.
Step Two: Prepare and Cover Your Jar
- Begin by cleaning your jar and removing any label residue if you’re repurposing it. (Goo Gone does the job well.) Make sure the jar is dry before proceeding.
- Cut your decorative paper to a size that will cover your jar with some excess left over. You will want the paper to extend about 1/8″ above the rim, and a couple inches beyond the bottom (to cover the bottom surface).
- Paint the entire outside of the jar with Mod Podge.
- Cover the jar with the decorative paper. Smooth it out as completely as you can. Try to have as little overlap as possible where the two ends of the paper meet, but make sure there’s no gap. If there’s a gap or you don’t like the way the overlap looks, you could run a strip of matching washi tape vertically along the seam. Trim the paper so it’s flush with the top rim of the jar.
- Cut slits in the paper that will allow it to cover the bottom of the jar, and carefully fold the slits over the bottom so it is covered completely. Smooth it out as much as possible. If you end up not having enough excess on the bottom to cover it completely, you can cut out a circle nearly the size of the diameter and adhere it.
Step Three: Embellish Your Lantern with Words, Charms, and Other Details
- Apply Mod Podge to the places where you want your words. Smooth out the words.
- When all your words are adhered to the lantern, paint over the entire lantern with a coat of Mod Podge. Let dry.
- At this point, you can embellish the lantern with designs and/or stickers. I love to take out my metallic Sharpies for this and make spirals! You might want to decorate with a few shiny star stickers.
- Cover with another coat of Mod Podge, and let dry. I like to sprinkle some fine glitter in the Mod Podge for the final coat!
- If you are using charms, attach each one to a few inches of fine thread. Find places for them to hang so they are not covering any words. Put a dab of hot glue near the top of the rim, and attach a thread to the glue so the charm dangles in the space where you want it. Do the same for the remaining charms.
- Use hot glue to secure ribbon, raffia, or twine around the top of the lantern, to cover any threads in the glass (that allow the lids to screw on).
- Place a tea light or votive inside the lantern (inside a small votive holder if you wish), and enjoy and reflect on your illuminated words!
I recently listed Spirit Lanterns for sale in my Etsy shop, so if you’d like one but don’t feel like making one on your own, I’d love to create a customized lantern for you using your sacred words for the year and/or even an inspirational quote!
© 2016 Susan Meyer. All rights reserved. To use any or all of this blog post, include this exactly: Susan Meyer (SusanTaraMeyer.com) is a photographer, writer, clutter coach, feng shui consultant, and mindfulness mentor whose work is infused with a deep interest in the nature of mind and appreciation of the natural world. She lives on the Hudson River in Upstate New York.
